Have you been wondering what your man is up to when he's not with you? Do you have a sinking feeling every time he doesn't answer his phone? Is he regularly leaving you in the dark when you ask about his day or his time away from you? There are several ways to figure out whether he is cheating or whether you are just being paranoid.
Of course your relationship started out with generosity and chivalry. He'd pick you up for your evenings out, plan a series of activities that he knew you would like, would be affectionate in public. Nowadays it seems that things have fallen flat. He doesn't hold the door for you anymore and he'd rather order Chinese and watch a movie than take you out on the town. These changes in his behavior are not necessarily indicative of cheating, but they are a sign that your relationship is in trouble for whatever reason. Pay attention to his actions and try to address the problem before it gets worse. If he is unwilling to make an effort on your behalf, perhaps the relationship isn't worth it - regardless of whether he has been with other women.
If you have regular plans with your guy and he's starting to bail on them, it could be a bad sign. Perhaps you and he get together every Friday after work for cocktails with some friends... but all of a sudden he is unavailable for these outings. If he doesn't have a good excuse, your relationship could be in trouble. You don't need to be accusatory, but it is perfectly acceptable to ask him why he wasn't there for you. If he doesn't have a good reason, address the problem with him and try to gauge his response from there.
Learn to read into his excuses. People who are lying tend to have thought out their alibi prior to delivering it. Are there too many details? Does something seem off about his story? Does he get defensive if you question any aspects of his explanation? Verify his whereabouts if you deem it necessary. If he claims to have been with a certain friend, work it into conversation the next time you see that friend. If he's lying, it's pretty likely that he will get tripped up.
While cheating may seem heartless and insensitive, it doesn't mean that your man doesn't feel guilty about it. When guys feel guilty, they tend to express it outwardly. They will become aggressively defensive and even pick fights with you to change the subject. This is a pretty common trait among cheating men, and one that can be extremely emotionally damaging to you if you don't nip the problem in the bud.
Think about the past. Did your relationship start out with you being the other woman? Chances are his next relationship will, too. Is he still friends with any of his ex-girlfriends? Most adults in relationships can maintain at least a casual platonic relationship with their exes unless the romantic relationship ended particularly tragically.
Whether or not you can prove he's cheating, the important thing to keep in mind is that if you are concerned, there is a reason for it. If his behaviors have changed and you don't feel that the relationship is what it once was, perhaps it is time to move on regardless of whether or not he has been faithful.
By Hannah E Fairfield
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